This new-fangled iPhone cajigger is being touted as the the next best thing since sliced bread. It sure seems to have a fancy-sounding list of features, but the big question on everyone's lips is this: how well does it blend?
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
COUNTER-CURSE URGENTLY REQUIRED
The spam I keep receiving just keeps getting weirder:
I think she just cast a spell on me. Somebody help!
From: Noah Adkins
Subject: beecham chirp disseminate
abreast cashew chokeberry circumscription. bookkeep cauchy
barrier caleb decline correlate. creditor benign
archetypical cowhand cricket breakaway aiken digress
appraisal. custodial brennan clare diopter clomp beefsteak
calamitous.
I think she just cast a spell on me. Somebody help!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
MAN NOT PIRATE
"German was not a pirate of her affections," attorney Enrico Mirabelli said. "Her affections were already adrift."
Monday, June 25, 2007
AUSSIE MUSLIMS UNITE AGAINST EVIL
From today's The Australian:
Terrorism? Female circumcision? Suicide bombing?
Oh.
Australia's Sunni Muslims have pushed aside ideological differences with their Shia counterparts to form a united front against...
Terrorism? Female circumcision? Suicide bombing?
...Israel
Oh.
Friday, June 22, 2007
FEELING OPTIMISTIC?
Sydney’s dam levels have reached the 50% mark, and are now half empty. Uh, I mean, they’re now half full. No wait...
...
Oh to hell with you!
I’m off to the pub to grab a beer and sort this out.
...
Oh to hell with you!
I’m off to the pub to grab a beer and sort this out.
BIG QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Question posed at Fark.com: Do Koalas have talons?
Answer by Somacandra: It's Australia, man. Everything has talons and can kill you. Even the 'creme brulee' has talons.
'Nuff said.
Answer by Somacandra: It's Australia, man. Everything has talons and can kill you. Even the 'creme brulee' has talons.
'Nuff said.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
NOW THAT'S JUST CREEPY
Julia Gillard briefly usurped Kevin Rudd as top dog of the Opposition yesterday...
UPDATE!!!!
Take a closer look at that photo. You'll notice that's Shadow Treasurer Wayne Swan in the background, with his hand down his pants. The plot thickens by the minute.
"Not that Gillard even so much as raised her voice throughout the hour and a half she sat in the chair as acting leader of the Opposition while Rudd was away at the funeral of Tom Burns, a former Queensland ALP leader and deputy premier.
"Instead Gillard fixed the Prime Minister, who was the subject of each one of her questions, with a focused stare that must have been disconcerting if only because she did not appear to blink."
I'm not going to accuse the deputy Opposition Leader of being possessed by the Devil, but, well, just try to spot her pupils in that photo and I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
UPDATE!!!!
Take a closer look at that photo. You'll notice that's Shadow Treasurer Wayne Swan in the background, with his hand down his pants. The plot thickens by the minute.
Friday, April 20, 2007
HOLIDAY: TERROR ON THE HIGH SEAS
Apologies for the lack of posts recently, I've been on holiday. And also lazy, incredibly lazy.
Here's a rundown of what happened, just in case you're interested (N.B. for theatrical reasons some aspects of this story may have been slightly exaggerated):
Day One: We're driving to Brisbane. Stopped over for the night in Armidale. It's a desolate, uninhabitable wasteland showing few signs of life.
Day Two: We've stopped in Brisbane. It's a desolate, uninhabitable wasteland showing few signs of life. This is compounded by the fact my relatives from New Zealand are here, and that I have to talk to them. Why don't they sod off?
Day Three: We went to Dreamworld today, although a more accurate name would be The World of Un-Ending Nightmares. The log ride was good though.
Day Four: We've hired a couple of houseboats, with my immediate family in one and my relatives in the other. I was hoping our boat would have a name that would strike fear into the hearts of men. Instead we got "Rainbow Goddess".
Day Five: I've gone over to join my relatives on the other houseboat. Suddenly I found myself surrounded by children. Just what is it about children that makes them gravitate towards me, and injure me?
Day Six: A freak tidal wave has swept our GPS and all our maps overboard. We're lost.
Day Seven: One of my relatives has come over to our houseboat. I consider resorting to cannibalism, even though we're not short of food. It is my hope his death will serve as a warning to the rest of my relatives not to come over.
Day Eight: We seem to be wandering in the general direction of civilisation, although I can't be sure of that. I weigh up the pros and cons of pushing my Dad overboard and taking command of the boat. Someone responsible will have to take charge, if we're all going to survive.
On that note, I considered pushing the rest of my family overboard as well. You know, just for laughs.
Day Nine: We've spotted land. Safety at last! We then raced towards land, plowed into the dock, abandoned our sinking vessel, dove into a taxi and jumped onto the first plane to anywhere. As we left Brisbane airport I cursed the very ground the city was built on and vowed never to return.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to my next holiday. I'll keep you posted if any plans are made.
Here's a rundown of what happened, just in case you're interested (N.B. for theatrical reasons some aspects of this story may have been slightly exaggerated):
Day One: We're driving to Brisbane. Stopped over for the night in Armidale. It's a desolate, uninhabitable wasteland showing few signs of life.
Day Two: We've stopped in Brisbane. It's a desolate, uninhabitable wasteland showing few signs of life. This is compounded by the fact my relatives from New Zealand are here, and that I have to talk to them. Why don't they sod off?
Day Three: We went to Dreamworld today, although a more accurate name would be The World of Un-Ending Nightmares. The log ride was good though.
Day Four: We've hired a couple of houseboats, with my immediate family in one and my relatives in the other. I was hoping our boat would have a name that would strike fear into the hearts of men. Instead we got "Rainbow Goddess".
Day Five: I've gone over to join my relatives on the other houseboat. Suddenly I found myself surrounded by children. Just what is it about children that makes them gravitate towards me, and injure me?
Day Six: A freak tidal wave has swept our GPS and all our maps overboard. We're lost.
Day Seven: One of my relatives has come over to our houseboat. I consider resorting to cannibalism, even though we're not short of food. It is my hope his death will serve as a warning to the rest of my relatives not to come over.
Day Eight: We seem to be wandering in the general direction of civilisation, although I can't be sure of that. I weigh up the pros and cons of pushing my Dad overboard and taking command of the boat. Someone responsible will have to take charge, if we're all going to survive.
On that note, I considered pushing the rest of my family overboard as well. You know, just for laughs.
Day Nine: We've spotted land. Safety at last! We then raced towards land, plowed into the dock, abandoned our sinking vessel, dove into a taxi and jumped onto the first plane to anywhere. As we left Brisbane airport I cursed the very ground the city was built on and vowed never to return.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to my next holiday. I'll keep you posted if any plans are made.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
THE END IS NIGH
Labor was returned to power at yesterday's State election, in spite of their deliberate attempts to wreck up the State's roads and public transport. We can now look forward to four more years of this:
The Pacific Highway
Thursday, March 22, 2007
TOO MUCH CAFFEINE IS BARELY ENOUGH
Headline: Starbucks to open 10,000 new stores in four years.
Thank Christ for that. Before now if I wanted a coffee I'd have to go all the way across the street, but soon I won't even have to leave the building!
Thank Christ for that. Before now if I wanted a coffee I'd have to go all the way across the street, but soon I won't even have to leave the building!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
WHERE'S ME PINT'S POPULARITY SOARS
A second person I don't know left a comment on my blog the other day. That brings my total number of confirmed readers (who aren't friends of mine I've coerced into reading) up from zero to two.
Ceeelebrate good times, come on!
Ceeelebrate good times, come on!
MAY THE RAGE BE WITH YOU
Overheard from co-workers:
Which reminded me of another quote:
Wise words all round.
Co-worker one: Good luck with your Touch Footy game tonight.
Co-worker two: I don't need luck, I've got rage.
Which reminded me of another quote:
The key to the game of football, and life, is to
annihilate everything in a blind rage.
Wise words all round.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
THE ONLY APPROPRIATE RESPONSE IS TO PANIC
From today's MX (not available online):
The Police have yet to confirm that the child is the son of Lucifer, but that much should be pretty obvious by now.
TODDLER RUNS CAR INTO MUM
A Melbourne woman is in hospital after her toddler son hopped into the driver's seat of her car, started the engine and then accidentally pinned her beween the car and a brick wall.
The woman was taken to Dandenong Hospital suffering from a possible broken hip and pevlic injuries.
Her 18-month-old son was not injured.
Investigations are under way.
The Police have yet to confirm that the child is the son of Lucifer, but that much should be pretty obvious by now.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
300: A BALANCED LOOK
A reviewer gives his mild opinion of the new movie 300:
On the other hand, these Iranians are against it. I'll leave it up to you to decide which review is more persuasive.
That's 300 Director Zac Snyder, having just murdered the directors of several lesser films immediately after 300 failed to secure an award at the 2007 Oscars. The film was released too late to be nominated.
I can’t spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN’T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.
On the other hand, these Iranians are against it. I'll leave it up to you to decide which review is more persuasive.
UPDATE!!!
The results are in! Records smashed, etc.
That's 300 Director Zac Snyder, having just murdered the directors of several lesser films immediately after 300 failed to secure an award at the 2007 Oscars. The film was released too late to be nominated.
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