A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH

A woman in Bristol, England, is responding to treatment for an extremely rare condition that makes her speak French and believe she is in France.

If, god forbid, I ever fall victim to this horrible condition, it will be up to you loyal readers to put me out of my misery immediately. Faced with living a tortured existence believing I was a Frenchmen, I (like most people) would prefer the sweet release of death.

POPULATION SHOULD BE REDUCED BY 1/3

Survey one: one in three Americans believe Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9/11.

Survey two: one in three Germans believe the US Government was responsible for 9/11.

Survey three: one in three Britons believe Princess Diana's death was not an accident.

Survey four: A survey conducted by the Morris Institute of Big Numbers found that 33% of all people are bonkers, regardless of nationality.

LET'S KEEP THINGS DECENT

A criminal case has been filed against Aishwarya Rai, the former Miss World, and Hrithik Roshan over their on-screen kiss in the recently released Bollywood film Dhoom 2.

Here's a shot of the offending kiss:

Monsters

Here are some other disturbing images from the movie Dhoom 2 (Warning! Not safe for children!):

Aaargh!


UPDATE!!

I may have possibly confused the movie Dhoom 2 with the video game franchise Doom. Apologies to Ashwarya Wai, and anyone else offended by the above photo of The Rock.

WATCH OUT! HE'S PACKIN' HEAT!

Despite increased security at courthouses following shootings in Chicago and Atlanta about one year ago, many judges are bringing their own guns into their courtrooms for protection.

Earlier this month, a Florida judge was ordered to accept mentoring after warning a defense attorney that he was "locked and loaded." In May, a judicial ethics committee of the New York State Unified Court System found that it was ethical for a judge to carry a pistol into his courtroom.

As a state senator remarked: "Guns are like lawyers: better to have one and not need it than need one and not have it"

In order to cover all your bases, I suggest you get a lawyer who has a gun.

Morris SC, at your service:

That's me, preparing for my first court appearance

BUT THAT'S ALL I DO!

Malaysia may introduce tough Internet laws to control bloggers and prevent them from spreading "disharmony, chaos, seditious material and lies" on their websites, a report has said.

Thank Christ I'm not blogging in Malaysia. I'd be hanging from the gallows in no time.