DON'T FUCK WITH HIM

Violence in Iraq has fallen to a four year low, and things in general seem to be looking up there. I, like many commentators, incorrectly attributed this result to the "surge" strategy employed by General Petraeus.

But then, the truth hit me like a round-house kick to the face:

Chuck Norris toured Iraq in September 2007!

Chuck Norris, planning victory

Chuck Norris loses patience with a minion and begins to snap his neck. It's the happiest moment of minion's life. Proud Father looks on.

Chuck Norris, seen here with the tank he used to win the war. Coincidentally, the tank is also called Chuck Norris.

UPDATE!!!

Progress is also now being made in Afghanistan. I wonder when Chuck Norris was there?

MUST CRUSH COMPETITION

A friend of mine has shamelessly copied my example and recently created his own blog: Words that Rhyme with Nick.

Let me just say from the outset, I don't approve of other people making blogs.

Allowing your average joe to make blogs, porn sites, or anything else on the internet dilutes the total amount of content that can be found and makes it harder for people to find the premium content. Premium content, like, say for example, this blog.

For that reason, I intend to disparage Nick mercilessly until I have crushed his spirit and sent him into a violent depression that forces him to close up shop and kill himself. Frankly I'm doing him a favour. He'll understand one day.

"Words that ryhme with Nick", indeed. I'll tell you a few words that rhyme with Nick:

None-too-quick, prick, ball-lick and sucks on d***.

I also understand your mother has been pulling tricks.

Disparaging completed.

AUSSIE MUSLIMS UNITE AGAINST EVIL

From today's The Australian:

Australia's Sunni Muslims have pushed aside ideological differences with their Shia counterparts to form a united front against...

Terrorism? Female circumcision? Suicide bombing?

...Israel

Oh.

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL

From an article in yesterday's Sun-Herald (not available online):

It is hoped a device being developed to detect bombs and catch terrorists will be produced in Tasmania.

I have since gone to the trouble of developing my own device for catching terrorists:

Throwing Net

That one's on the house, Tasmania.

CHEESE IT!

Ultra-Radical Muslims in Melbourne and Sydney are breaking away from their fundamentalist wahhabist leaders, presumably because they aren't radical enough.

Quite frankly, I'm fleeing to Queensland. No extremists there.

Except maybe for this guy:

"September 11 is Allah's work against oppressors" - Premier Peter Beattie, seen here preaching to his followers at an ALP conference.