MORE ELECTION MADNESS

Tony Abbott brought a twist to the Australian election campaign today, by kidnapping a child:

"Aaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!" - Abbott

How absconding with a youngster would help his campaign has yet to be determined.

Abbott has yet to offer a comment and has not been seen since he ran off down the road.



P.S. I promise this will be the last election-related blog post. But like all promises relating to an election campaign, this one will probably be broken.

LOL-POLITICS

JULIA Gillard has still yet to talk directly to Kevin Rudd about him joining her campaign, saying they have been communicating by text message.

Ms Gillard she hopes to catch up with Mr Rudd in Brisbane tomorrow but conceded she had not spoken directly with him.

“We're chronic, chronic texters, chronic BlackBerry users,” Ms Gillard told ABC radio.

“And so we've been communicating like that and we're going to catch up face-to-face on Saturday.”

In another stunning exclusive, this blog has obtained a transcript of the text messages exchanged between the two politicians:


Text message sent by Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard ("JG"): oh hai dere! u still mad??

Text message sent in reply by former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd ("KR"): wtf LOL yes

JG: zomg lyk build a bridge & lyk get over it

KR: u get over it

JG: k cn u lyk stop bein baby n help me stop abbott nao?

KR: u stop bein baby & you help me stop abbott now!

JG: um k. will u halp or no?

KR: ye ye sure whatevs. i can has ministry 4 foreign affairs now?

JG: ummmmmmmmmmm….......yes

KR: sweet

JG: we b friends now?

KR: Lol


Politics at it’s finest.


SHOCKING UPDATE!!!!

Political campaign descends into no-holds-barred wrestling match, somehow.



SHOCKING TWITTER EXCHANGE!!!!
(Between myself and the editor of The Punch David Penberthy, after he posted this article)

@Penbo Hey, you stole my idea! http://tiny.cc/wv4h5

Penbo @MrDenorris great (or strange) minds mate. Didn't see yours til you sent me the link. Honest!

LAZY FRIDAY AFTERNOONS AT WORK

After spending Friday morning busting my balls at Parramatta Local Court I arrived back at the office.

Around closing time my boss asked me to provide a hearing report to him so he could forward it on to the client that day. I gave him a hearing report all right.

Below is a true copy.


So & So Case Hearing Report
I went to that place where the Court stuff is heard and a few things happened.

The first thing that happened was the matter was set down for final hearing.

The other thing that happened was the other guy said he wanted to file another affidavit and we said yeah.

As I said before we should probably file their first affidavit or things might go bad.

The end.

A MODEST MILESTONE, AND A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO INSULT EVERYONE

Where's Me Pint now has 100 posts. My blog is therefore (100 minus [X]) times better than yours, where X = the number of posts on your blog.

If you don't have a blog, well I don't blame you. Not everyone can be a super star.

And if you happen to have a blog which has more than 100 posts: Christ you need to get a life.

WHERE'S ME PINT: NOW BANNED IN PAKISTAN

Posting continues to be slow here at Where's Me Pint. To make it up to my loyal reader (if you're reading this, that's you), here are some scantily clad women:

It's a tough job, selecting these photos. But I do it for the fan.

OH OH, THINGS ARE GETTING POLITICAL AROUND HERE, IT MUST BE AN ELECTION YEAR

1) "We didn't properly, I think, estimate the complexity of what we were embarking on." - Kevin Rudd.

2) “We didn’t anticipate how hard it was going to be to deliver things.” - Kevin Rudd.

3) "It turns out promising to do things is easier than actually doing them! Whoops!" - Kevin Rudd.

See if you can pick which quote out of the three is fake. Choose correctly and you may win a prize!*


*Disclaimer: In the event you win a prize, it will be from a source unconnected with this blog and entirely co-incidental.

HOT SCOOP

Just between you and me, I know a guy who knows a guy, who saw Peter Garrett last night sneaking around with a can of gasoline, setting someone’s house on fire.

At the time he was heard yelling something along the lines of “HOW DO THEY SLEEP WHILE THEIR BEDS ARE BURNING, AAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

When questioned about the incident, Kevin Rudd defended Garrett’s actions, stating “I have absolute confidence in the minister” and that setting houses on fire “has been a very hard program to implement”.


UPDATE!!!!

More evidence of Garrett's night-time activities has come to light:

Peter Garrett, photographed in 1995 discussing the merits of burning down houses with the local constabulary.

JUDGES QUESTION VALIDITY OF ROAD STUDY

ATTORNEYS and judges may be sticklers to the word of the law but it seems they are not quite so adherent to the rules of the road, topping a list of the the top 10 most dangerous drivers by profession.

A study by online US insurance company insurance.com found 44 per cent of attorneys claimed a prior accident when looking for a car insurance comparison quote from insurance.com.

The Top 10 most dangerous drivers by profession are:
1. Attorney/Judge
2. Financial professionals
3. Government worker
4. Bartender or waiter
5. Business professionals
6. Dog groomer
7. Marketing/advertising professionals
8. Barber/stylist
9. Coach
10. Nurse

When questioned by reporters regarding the results of the study, Supreme Court Justice Christopher Brian Bridges made the following comment:

“I'm doin' a hundred on the highway, so if you do the speed limit get the fuck outta my way!
I’m D.U.I. hardly ever caught sober, and you about to get ran the fuck over!”

Bridges J was earlier spotted engaging in an impromptu debate on road safety, as seen in the below footage:

BOOBS

Sorry for not posting much lately, I've been distracted by other projects.

To make it up to you, here are some photos of scantily clad women:

That's all you come here for anyway, right?

GOOGLE'S QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever"
- Anonymous

...apparently it didn't work for that guy.