Apologies for the lack of posts recently, I've been on holiday. And also lazy, incredibly lazy.
Here's a rundown of what happened, just in case you're interested (N.B. for theatrical reasons some aspects of this story may have been slightly exaggerated):
Day One: We're driving to Brisbane. Stopped over for the night in Armidale. It's a desolate, uninhabitable wasteland showing few signs of life.
Day Two: We've stopped in Brisbane. It's a desolate, uninhabitable wasteland showing few signs of life. This is compounded by the fact my relatives from New Zealand are here, and that I have to talk to them. Why don't they sod off?
Day Three: We went to Dreamworld today, although a more accurate name would be The World of Un-Ending Nightmares. The log ride was good though.
Day Four: We've hired a couple of houseboats, with my immediate family in one and my relatives in the other. I was hoping our boat would have a name that would strike fear into the hearts of men. Instead we got "Rainbow Goddess".
Day Five: I've gone over to join my relatives on the other houseboat. Suddenly I found myself surrounded by children. Just what is it about children that makes them gravitate towards me, and injure me?
Day Six: A freak tidal wave has swept our GPS and all our maps overboard. We're lost.
Day Seven: One of my relatives has come over to our houseboat. I consider resorting to cannibalism, even though we're not short of food. It is my hope his death will serve as a warning to the rest of my relatives not to come over.
Day Eight: We seem to be wandering in the general direction of civilisation, although I can't be sure of that. I weigh up the pros and cons of pushing my Dad overboard and taking command of the boat. Someone responsible will have to take charge, if we're all going to survive.
On that note, I considered pushing the rest of my family overboard as well. You know, just for laughs.
Day Nine: We've spotted land. Safety at last! We then raced towards land, plowed into the dock, abandoned our sinking vessel, dove into a taxi and jumped onto the first plane to anywhere. As we left Brisbane airport I cursed the very ground the city was built on and vowed never to return.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to my next holiday. I'll keep you posted if any plans are made.
Friday, April 20, 2007
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