EMAIL TWO

Subject: If I was in charge...

Good news everyone! I've started studying Australian Constitutional Law!

"Zzzzzz" I hear you all say. Fair enough, however you might still be interested to know that I've already identified several ways in which I would improve the Constitution if I somehow managed to get elected to high office...

Section 116 of the Constitution prevents the Government from founding a religion. My grandmother used to say we could all use more religion in our lives, and for that reason, if elected I pledge to make it my top priority to sweep away this archaic, backward-facing rule and establish no less than ten religions within my first year of office. More religion for all!

I'll leave it up to you, my highly valued constituents to decide what form these religions will take, but like all good religions I expect they will glorify drinking, swearing and gambling.

Religion aside, I have discovered a disturbing fact about our right to vote. Apparently, people living in Australia's Territories have no Constitutional right to participate in elections for the House of Representatives. It seems to me that they just started voting with the rest of us, and nobody objected! If I was in charge, I would correct this oversight, relegating those Territorians (that is, terrorists!) to the status of legal non-entities, just as our founding fathers intended.

So the next time you vote at a Local, State or Federal Election (I don't care which, they all pay the same), vote 1 Morris! Free beer for all!


P.S. Due to an error the election officials may possibly leave my name off the ballot. In the event that happens, just add an extra box to the bottom and write my name next to it, like some of my friends did at the last Local election. I never checked the results, but I'm sure I won.

P.P.S. Some of you might point out that the Constitution can only be changed via a referendum. However, a thorough reading of the Constitution reveals it's drafters intended it to be a living, breathing document, and one which our elected officials could alter or ignore as circumstances dictate.